Tag Archives: social anxiety

Things that Freak Me Out (part 2)

JAIDEN! You… you already talked about dumb things you’re nervous about. Why are you… Oh you think I’m done? I’m just getting started. Uh yeah no, I’m not done. There’s more. Sadly. If you’re someone new here or just haven’t watched the first video I made about things I’m freaked out about. Uhh… You don’t need to watch them in order. Don’t worry about it, it’s not like you have to study up to watch these things.

I’m not going to pop out half way through like, “POP QUIZ!” In the first irrational fears video, which video game from my childhood did I finally beat after like 15 years? Answer incorrectly and you have to … restart your computer. That’s the punishment for not being up-to-date on every single one of my videos. But it would be cool if you went and watched it afterwards or something. Whatever you want, it doesn’t really matter. It’s fine.

I don’t really care. This is how you play hard to get right? Let’s just jump right in to it. Things that freak me out/generally make me a bit nervous. Part 2! Interacting with people. I feel like a lot of you can probably relate. I actually got curious to know the ratio of introverted to extroverted people. And apparently around 50 to 74 percent of the population is extroverted. Now that’s a big estimation gap but I thought that was kind of interesting because the majority of the comment sections on my videos are full of introverts. Looking at the bigger picture here, it kind of makes sense though because all the extroverts are just out being with people in the real world. Like extroverts Well anyway as a fellow introvert, I avoid interacting with people as much as I possibly can.

If there’s an option for me to not talk to people, I’m down. I’m talking to strangers and people I don’t really know by the way. Don’t get this picture in your head that I just want to live on the floor of my room, by myself in the dark with no friends. You probably weren’t thinking that. But just making sure. I think it’s common to not want to interact with every single person you possibly can when you go out somewhere. But I think I go an extra step in some situations. Like if you’re at a grocery store and you can’t find something An average person would go up to one of the workers there and ask “Hey! Do you know where I could find the cornmeal?” And the worker would say “Oh it’s in aisle 3 with the baking ingredients” And the person would be like, “Thanks! Not only did I get an immediate answer to my question” “but I also know the general direction I need to head to” because you physically pointed to where I can find the thing I’m trying to locate.” While over in my corner, I can’t walk up to an employee and ask them about something they’re paid to know the answer to.

*Pshh* I’m not some social interaction wizard. No, I have to walk to some obscure area no one else in, pull out my phone and google “Where to find cornmeal in a grocery store?” I choose to take an extra five whole minutes of my time to do an Internet search than initiate a normal human to human interaction. And Google can’t point out which direction I have to go. I’ve got to walk down the whole store scanning the little signs at the top as an extra bonus to find the cornmeal for a video to make bird treats that I’m never going to use again and Ari doesn’t even end up eating. One time I was in Target and I called my mom to ask her where the deodorant would be because I couldn’t find it, and she said “How should I know? Ask someone there. Why are you calling me? I’m at work.” And so I left without buying anything. Which is also a tangent little fear. Going in to a store, looking around, and leaving without making a purchase.

I feel so shady. Like the workers probably think I just committed a steal. Then you try and balance it out or something by looking extra friendly and smiling at the people. “Howdy ho there! I didn’t steal. No need to worry about me I’m a law-abiding citizen who pays for things.” But then it’s the whole thing like Well hypothetically, if I WERE to actually steal something, I would…try to… NOT look shady by smiling at people like, “Yep, totally didn’t just rob you.” So they probably think, I am stealing by smiling at them and I’m confirming their mind even more. People who walk in to stores, if you see someone walk in and leave without getting anything, do you assume they stole something? I haven’t had a job like that before so I don’t know the thought process you guys have. I just want to know if this can be something I don’t need to worry about any more and I’m just overthinking everything like I normally do. Plz help. Since we’re on the topic of socializing with other people, If I do find myself in a conversation with someone, I worry a lot about not looking like I’m paying attention to them while they’re talking.

I hate it when I’m trying to tell someone something and they’re just looking around. They check Twitter a few times, totally not looking like they want to be there. Like dude, you’re going to miss out on this stellar conversation I’m having with you here that could totally, maybe change your life. I’m just kidding, I don’t have anything to say that could change anyone’s life. BUT THEY DON’T KNOW THAT. So they’re risking that possibility. Also another side tangent, the word stellar. It’s a good word. Why don’t people use it more? I vote everyone says stellar more often. Stellar is … stellar. That was a public announcement. So that’s two things on your to-do list now. Go watch my ‘Irrational Fears Part 1″ video and say stellar more. I mean if you want to watch the video, it’s nothing really. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I thought I would just mention it again just in case you forgot.

WHOA. HEY. LETS GET BACK ON TRACK. Worrying about not looking I’m not paying attention to someone when they’re talking to me. So what I do to overcorrect that problem is focus way to make it look like I’m listening to someone. I concentrate so hard on looking like I’m paying attention to a conversation that sometimes I actually do forget to pay attention. I do a 180 and focus more on getting it across that I’m genuinely listening than just actually paying attention. And I don’t realize I’m not really hearing what they’re saying until the middle of their conversion, and it’s like “Crap. Wait. I don’t know what they’re talking about. I need to start paying attention.” And then I focus on trying to make it look like I’ve totally been comprehending what they’ve been saying this whole time and you get the point.

A good example of how this can be a bit of a problem is about a month ago I went to the bank to order some euros because as you know I was going to VidCon and stuff. There’s a video on that too if you want to maybe go watch that as well. I mean it’s whatever like. When the bank lady was telling me the ordering process, I was really focused on getting it across to her that I knew exactly what she was talking about and everything was peachy and there were no problems at all. And when she got to the point where she said “So they’ll arrive on Wedensday…” *drowned out voice* “Is that okay?” She basically told me when I could pick them up.

And without thinking about what day it was or what she actually just said, I went, “Yep, that’s fine” Finished the order and left. It wasn’t until a couple of hours later, I was at my desk doing some work and it dawned on me. “Wait, I’m… I’m leaving on Tuesday of next week.” “Did she say this Wednesday or the Wednesday after I leave the country?” “Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.” “I’ll take my chances.” It was the Wednesday before I left, it was fine. But in hindsight, that could have been really bad. And I was too nervous about going back and asking the lady about the order information because that would be extra interaction with another human and I just told you how that makes me anxious. I’m going to screw myself over someday by being like this. I know it. I’ll make a video about it. Don’t worry. Last one for now. So. So far I’d say I’ve talked about pretty general things that other shy, anxious people might relate to.

But this ones…this ones out there. The live-action version of the movie Pinocchio. There might be a few of you out there like, “Oh yea, when I saw that movie as a kiddo I thought it was a bit freaky too.” No, that’s not why it freaks me out. I saw it as a kid for the first time as a kid and I don’t recall a single thing about it’s really like or what happened in it. But I just know that that night I had one of the scariest nightmares of my childhood life. Like the type of nightmare that you never forget, and you wake up in a pool of your own sweat like, “Geez, what in the? How did my brain even conjure up something that horribly freaky.” “The heck? Where did that come from?” And at first, I didn’t think anything of it. Just a nightmare, they happen. Nothing out of the ordinary. But like a year or something later, I watched the live-action Pinocchio movie a second time.

And I got the exact same nightmare. “Yep, this two occurrences are connected. I’m never watching Pinocchio ever again.” And I didn’t. That’s the only movie I refuse to watch as of this point right now. Maybe sometime in the future, I’ll be brave enough to try and give it another chance but … nah man. I’m good for now. I bet you’re curious so I’ll try and explain the scary dream the Pinocchio movie gave me. It’s going to sound dumb but that’s just how dreams are when you try to explain them okay? Just go with it. I was in a dark room and I was pinned against this invisible corner. So like imagine you’re in a room and have your back against a corner and you can’t see anything.

It’s all pitch black. And by the way, I was Dash from The Incredibles. That’s just… I … I don’t get it either. That’s just how it was. Not even Violet. But whatever. So I was Dash from The Incredibles, pinned against this invisible corner looking to blackness And every once in a while, a big shark would lunge out of the dark and try to bite me. Just a huge shark jump scare at random intervals. Sounds dumb when I say it out loud. I’m not even scared of sharks. But it got really close at some points. It’s dumb, whatever. Anyways, quick off topic thing. I’m going to be going to Phoenix Comic Con next week with James and some of my friends. There’s not a panel or anything, I’m just going to go for fun and to be with buddies. So if you see us walking around, then yeaaa, say hi if you want. I don’t know. YEEEA. k bai. .