Illumination! (laughing) (screams) (“Happy” by Pharrell Williams playing) Hmm? (groans) (“Happy” by Pharrell Williams playing continues) Aah! (crash) Humph. (“Happy” by Pharrell Williams playing continues again) (groans) Max! GRINCH: Max! (singing) You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch You really are a heel You’re as cuddly as a cactus You’re as charming as an eel Mr. Grinch You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel Today, we will do mean things and we will do them in style.
Oh, hello! Happy ho– Eh-eh. (grunting) What’s this? Excuse me. Are you getting that? No. (chuckling) (retches) (vomits) Ugh! (growling) The Grinch Mmm… Pop! (coos) .
Hi fellas! I’m Brian, and I want to tell you how my girlfriend went missing, I almost went crazy, and two years later, I received a message from her. Since childhood, it’s been hard for me to communicate with other people, I felt uncomfortable in the company of other people, and I`m afraid of big crowds. This is called Social Anxiety Disorder or simply social phobia. The modern world allows me to live comfortably with this disease. Everything I need can be delivered to my house, I can take college classes at home, and communicate with friends via the internet. By the way, chatting with friends is not a problem at all, because I don`t have friends. The only people I communicate with is guys from a group with a similar problem as mine. Through this group, I met Alice. She’s 17 years old, she is very beautiful, and she’s also funny.
Sometimes, I even wondered how she might have problems with communication, because she is very energetic and joyful. And I was even more surprised about why she wanted such a weird long-distance relationship with me. She lived in New York, on the other side of America. But I didn’t complain. We spent a lot of time together, chatting with each other and making video dates. In general – we had as healthy a relationship as two social phobic people could get. One day, she told me that her parents were going to move to China, and that they were taking her with them. She convinced me that the only thing that would change in our relationship was the time zone, but I still felt something ominous, as if a really close person was leaving me. The day of departure arrived.
She literally informed me about every step: “We left the house,” “We got into the taxi,” “We arrived at the airport.” The last message I received from her was, “We just boarded the plane, going to turn off the phone. Next message you’ll get will be from China.” The flight was long, and I waited a long time for a message from her, but nothing came. Not even the next day. I became worried. What if something happened to her? I checked all the flights from New York to China. All the planes had landed successfully. Then I spent the whole day reading the Chinese news and looking for headlines with accidents. But I didn’t find anything, and this made me even more nervous. One day later, I decided to take action: It was scary but I overcame my social phobia, left the house, and went to the police. I didn`t even know what I was going to do there, but I couldn`t stay at home any longer. When I entered the station, I asked the on-duty officer: “Sorry, this is very urgent, my girlfriend is gone, you have to help me!” – I began to get very nervous.
The policeman sat me in a chair and calmed me down. He asked her name and where I last saw her. “Alice. She was in New York, I dated with her online, and a couple days ago, she flew with her parents to China, and since that time she hasn’t gotten online. Something happened to her!” The policeman must have thought that I was just some weird guy who was duped by a girl he met on the internet and he said that they couldn`t do anything because she flew away with her parents, so, technically, she’s not missing. But if something happened to them in China, then this can be found out through the US Consulate in China. That was my next step. I wrote a request to the consulate, but due to the fact that I am not a relative, it is prohibited to give me any information unless I prove that I am not a stranger to their family.
That was the problem. We were in a relationship for one year, but all we had in common was a Messenger chat with a bunch of memes and thousands of minutes of FaceTime calls. No pictures together, no other contacts, I don’t even know what her parents look like. This was first time that I realized we were just ghosts in each other’s lives. The consulate refused my request. At that moment, I was angry at everyone on Earth. Nobody cares about anything. That’s why social phobia exists. Because people are evil and selfish! I was desperate. My last chance was a private detective, he`d at least do it for the money, after all. I found a detective online, described my problem, told him everything I know. He assured me that everything would take a week, max. Every day I was on pins and needles. I was nervous all the time, I slept poorly and completely lost my appetite. I felt like soon I’d at least find out what had happened.
The detective’s call woke me up early in the morning. He told me something I didn`t expect to hear at all: Alice and her parents did not leave America. I asked the detective “What? Are you sure?” “Absolutely. They flew to another state, but returned two days later.” I was shocked. Why then is she not appearing online? Why did she lie to me? What`s going on? I was very angry and I wasn`t going to leave it like that. I wanted an explanation, so I bought a ticket for the next flight to New York, and at the very next day I was there. To be honest, I didn`t even think about what I would say to her. I just wanted to see her, and look into her eyes. I took a taxi to the address that the detective gave me. When I arrived, I felt like my heart began to beat really fast, I was very nervous.
Here it is – the moment of truth, now I will get my answers. I knocked on the door, but no one answered. I knocked again, but nobody was there. I was getting very angry, and just started banging on the door. An old lady from the next apartment heard the noise and walked into the hallway. I asked her: “Are your neighbors at home? I’m looking for my girlfriend, Alice. ” The woman told me that I was too late: her parents took Alice to the airport this morning. She’s going to go to college in another state. I felt so bad at that moment.
How could she do this to me? Couldn’t she just tell me the truth? Why did she make up this story? There were so many questions and I had zero answers. I decided to just go back home and forget the last two weeks, like a nightmare. It’s now been two years. And a lot of things have changed. Now I`m studying at college like a normal student, I have a girlfriend, and no – not an online girlfriend.
She is my classmate. Why am I still telling this story? Because it’s not over yet. Recently, I received an email from her, it said “It`s Alice, read this, please.” I was very surprised, and at first doubted whether I should read it. But I decided to open it. In the letter she apologized for having disappeared like that. She wrote: “I couldn’t just break up. I felt so sorry for you. So I decided to just disappear.
I thought that if you believed that I was in another country, you wouldn’t be able to look for me. I decided to do this because it was a chance to start a new, healthy life. But I felt guilty about it.” This time I wasn’t angry. On the contrary, if this hadn`t happened, I would still be sitting at home with my social phobia. But I overcame it because I wanted to find Alice. I don’t feel offended by her or mad at her, I even feel grateful to her, because now I have a great life and I’m happy.
I hope you enjoyed watching this story. Do you think it’s better to break up or just disappear? Did Alice do the right thing? Write about it in the comments! .
Gillian welcomes a hatchery club and welcome to your dog as you know the first rule of hatchery club is you have to have scored a hair treat for your club or country Oh kaanchi which means it’s earlier today sorry late late you’re nuts even on the entry list stop pulling my hair you son of a female dog valium Chilean Nina I’m afraid the first water fast return is you have to have scored a trick for your club oh don’t you come I was going to say country oh and stop pulling my hair you senator female socks oh you’re right long hair it’s for girls what’s you had dreadlocks last week dreadlocks is long hair but for cool people shoe you looks like Whoopi Goldberg oh I mean it stop pulling my hair I’m going to kick your bum in a minute Oh losers pick your bum read it and weep Whoopi nine now three for me three for him sue for you no her cheek no match for now Jo away you haven’t heard the last of ders oh geez he’s so selfish no this is the part where we’re supposed to get our balls outs and tasmiyah damn what a magical silly oh thank goodness but we both scored hat-tricks elect and there is only one match below so what do we do well there’s nothing in the Hedrick club rules about hatrocks in the same game oh but luckily there is in my contract the events of somebody else during a hetrick in the same game as mr.
Cavani that’s me mr. Cavani will be awarded the match ball mom says it right here let me see em just there move your finger what that’s been added in pencil no it’s essence that’s just that’s just the fun Gillian oh not dissident gets outs whoopee Wow stopping my chair Gillian tell him where you’ll just blamed my boy so you’re on your own just like in the country everything okay how about I let you hold my ball that sounds of prickers roll up Gillian no okay how about I give you half of my balls do so skirt roll up it’s 2019 there is nothing wrong with being Jay there is if he’s not gay and you’re trying to get you to hold your ball is a path to match ball Oh like this here killing you I have one of my balls sounds a bit gay wow what slow Joyce of major cadets what’s you say so sorry Dupre she’s Savi’s apology accepted now let’s put that behind us and move on we have one match ball itch let’s get admiring each other’s balls where did you even get those match balls they were all round the pitch there was more than one match ball yes it was multiple it’s not 1972 that’s probably what ever since Barbara says when he sees that her toe every week Gillian problem solved now you have a match ball so you can sell whoopee he can’t stay because he didn’t score a hat-trick but mark did score boys clear no he didn’t yes he did you just wrote that’s in Plainfield no I didn’t it’s just the font I deserve luckily I never came here without a rubber sounds a bit how does that sounds a bit pink oh wait till oppress me about their life out of here Cavani bitch teammate in violent homophobic range drill heads we grab correction violent and formost homophobic rhymes Falmouth’s I said whoo Cavani commands teammates too screwed in basements oh and as far as thanking since you can shove your boss up even worse that’s practically Oh too funny I think you went a bit far system
Are you ready I hope you’re ready because I am definitely ready what am I ready for I’ll tell you what I’m ready for I’m ready for you TV producers to give me my own show Oh ginger pay attention okay here it is the talking tom reality TV show audition video now I’m not gonna come on here and be like Oh producers please please please give me reality show no I don’t need to do that why because I know when you see my friends and my cool life you’re gonna be like oh Tom please please please let us give you a reality show hey probably being paranoid but just wanted to make sure that you knew I was kidding when I was acting like you for canopy begging me to do a reality show okay okay and cut thanks ginger Angela I got here as quickly as I could your message said it was urgent is everything okay yes I’m finally filming my reality show audition tape oh not really interested now Angela I need you to check the acoustics for our new reality TV confession booth Tom it’s a bathroom well yeah people sound great in the bathroom that’s why they sing in the shower there’s no shower in here there’s just a toilet shower toilet use your imagination what use my imagination are you kidding me right now that’s our Angela she’s not only my good friend but she is also kind of a pop star you might even know some of her songs yeah yeah baby baby why don’t you send one of your songs I love Tom but my manager thought it might hurt my career to sing one of my real songs on his crazy audition tape as you can see this is no ordinary neighborhood garage it’s what we call the studio and it’s where I produce games and songs and apps with my best friend and business partner Ben ah please tell me that camera isn’t recording are you kidding me that was reality TV gold Ben here is the owner of all this high-tech expensive equipment correct Tom so don’t you dare touch it Ben’s mom will let him keep the stuff at his house because of a few too many shall we say power surges caused a few too many shall we say the house fires not really my fault our electricity grid badly needs an upgrade so Ben can you tell us what kind of mind-blowing life-changing high-tech invention you’re working on I can but I don’t see the reason why I would oh come on Ben tell us what it does well if you must know this is a squirting flower joke app ooh what’s that no no don’t push it hmm it doesn’t even work well it should now that is the funniest thing I have ever seen you do what do you mean I’m often very funny ah not really uh-huh I am so nope nope hmm you reality show producers you should know the following yes I’m a tech genius but I also possess a well rounded personality for example I can be whimsical I’m often spontaneous I’m organized in a fun way and most of all I am humorous you’re humorous what you don’t think I’m funny you know what forget I said anything oh no no no no you’re not leaving until I’ve shown everyone that I am more than just the brains of this operation please don’t um hello viewer prepare to laugh at the following stand-up comedy humor presentation joke number one so yesterday I flew in from the West Coast and boy are my arms tired so you see Tom the word flu has two different meanings so Ben if the joke is funny you don’t need to explain why it’s funny stop it Tom you’re embarrassing yourself I have studied a lot more comedy than you have good day oh of course the best comedy comes from a spreadsheet what are those two bickering about do they think that’s gonna impress the producers and why am I talking to you instead of talking directly to them ah take over hi I’m Tom’s roommate Hank I’ve seen every sitcom made from 1986 to 1994 and in France ah I’m called hot ginger Oh ginger ginger it’s your turn to talk hey that’s my phone I told you if you don’t behave I’m gonna send you home just like my role model Hank ah I feel Li what who disciplines the kid that’s why he looks up to me hey give me that and tell the producers about yourself tom you start I’m what people call a visionary some days I’ll wake up and think let’s see today I’m gonna design a hot air balloon that can land on a passing asteroid except a hot-air balloon can’t fly in space that’s a minor detail comments like that prove that you’re just not a visionary and you’re not a scientists you two are a great team tell us about some of the apps you’ve created Oh tell her about the ray-ray oh why did you bring that up the ray-ray was an app that used bursts of microwaves to locate people nearby named ray Wow nobody needs that well maybe we should talk about cook my salmon the app that makes your phone so hot it can cook salmon which totally worked it just drained your battery and set your pants on fire really guys so tell us how you first met well it was like a million years ago no it was 8.3 years ago eight-point-three you’re talking nonsense nonsense you’re the king of nonsense no the vibe I’m going for here is everyone’s got their own whatchamacallit so tom is there anything about Ben that gets on your nerves don’t touch that don’t touch my computer that’s it I’m never going to work with you again hey Tom how’s it going not so good I don’t think my video is good enough to convince the TV producers to give me a reality show that just turned it into a very special Christmas audition video would that work do you know that show the Hermit Housewives of the Aran Islands sure everyone does they were almost canceled and then they turn to every episode to do a very special Christmas special would that work for us don’t ask me ask this guy somebody goes Santa hohoho where did he come from okay ginger cue the snow and action this season children all over the world are going to be asking me for the same thing Santa there sing all I want is to see a reality show sorry talk to Tom and his friends hey what is this it’s a public service announcement for children who want me to get my own reality show kids watch enough TV my show will be good it’ll be like a Christmas miracle but I’m not sure if the TV producers will like it Oh what do you need a TV producer for to make all my dreams come true oh good one tom you don’t need some outdated washed-up TV producer to make your own reality TV show I don’t know oh you need it’s a video camera a computer and a bunch of crazy goofball friends which you definitely have I do oh yes you do so just make the show yourself I can do that thanks Santa this may be the best Christmas ever hey buddy Ned Johnson until about Awful’s singing stops I’m staying right in here with you confession camera you’re welcome forgot my Christmas list Oh